Fear

Fear

Isn’t it crazy what fear does to you,
mentally, physically and emotionally
Isn’t it crazy how it makes you feel,
like you’re trapped in this ball
that goes round and round
like it’s never going to end
No matter how much you want it to stop
it seems like every step you take
it just keeps moving, constantly
every hour, every minute of the day
taking you to places that never
ever feels like home.

Screaming in your head
so loud and clear
wailing for every fear to end
But the fear, it screams back at you
louder and louder and louder
chasing you until you fall over
and it feels like you’re stuck on the ground
too scared to even stand back up at all,
feeling completely helpless
when all you ever wanted was to be fearless.

We all wish it’ll just vanish
vanish into thin air, vanish in the darkness
and we wonder what that looks like
living a fearless life, of not having fear
constantly ruining our lives,
of not constantly running away from
all the good what could have beens.

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Why I started blogging 

Why I started blogging 

I was a frustrated blogger, tbh. I used tumblr from grade6-2nd year highschool.  I found out about WordPress 5 years ago when I was a sophomore, I set up an account, well because of the mere fact that I wanted to blog! So yah, I did put up a few things, mostly petty and childish thoughts that I had in mind and well “jeje” photos. It makes me laugh to think about that awkward time in my life. Oh well, I grew up. I’m not “jeje” anymore.

(The word “jeje” came from the Philippines and it’s just a made up word by the youngin’s that kinda means  weird childish I DON’T even know, and you don’t have to know, it’s not worth it haha.)

Anyway, back to our topic. I found WordPress very confusing back then, I just posted random things and my page wasn’t very attractive. ( I can’t open it anymore) So now I made a new wordpress account and I am proud to say that I’m finally understanding the technical stuff of the website! I still find it confusing at times but I think now that I’m older I actually have the patience to learn the process of setting up a blog of my own.

I share my thoughts to my friends and family but tbh, I don’t think I’m ever completely honest with everything I say, or a better phrase for that is that I never say everything I need or want to say. I find myself sugar coating parts of it. I used to have a journal and I remember enjoying writing my thoughts in it, but I wanted to try out blogging. Here you are reading my thoughts. I think it’s easier to let out your feelings in writing, it doesn’t have to be creative, letting your feeling out through writing in general is very therapeutic. 

I never really liked poems before, I thought they were boring. Now I learned that it really depends on what poem you are reading. Poems are very interesting specially when you can relate to it, much just like songs. What made me started liking poems is first of all Lang Leav, she’s a great author! And another reason was Aldub’s poem for each other. It gave me the feels to be honest. It inspired me to write about what I have been feeling. I tried writing poems before but none of them really worked and I got tired and frustrated so I just gave up. This time around was different. 

I fell for a guy, and I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. It was very confusing. My mind knew that it will never work but my heart says differently. And I’m not even sure if he likes me or not. He’s hard to read, that’s for sure. And since I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions, I started writing poems. I don’t think I like him anymore, because I fell for another guy who didn’t really like me back at all either, so I wrote about him blah blah! Anyway poetry/song writing definitely became an outlet for me until present.

This blog consist of : poetry, my random thoughts about random things, “travel” photos and maybe some music stuff because I love music. 

So I guess to put it all together, blogging for me is a way to express myself and to know myself little by little. An outlet for my feelings I find hard to talk about(why I write poems haha), I am glad that I get to share this with people that may be able to relate to it.

Another reason why I started blogging is because I want to share my travel experiences! (I haven’t really been anywhere but I plan to travel a lot in the future. Haha!)

I think that’s all for now!

Coffee Joint

I remember it perfectly, the way you rest your elbows on the table, the way you held your drink. I remember it perfectly, the booth where we sat, that little corner where you had rest your back. I remember it perfectly, the things you said, the way you smiled at me. I remember it perfectly, by looking at you, I knew how much you meant to me. I remembered it perfectly how the look on your face implied you had no clue, you make me fall in everything you do.

I am lost

You’re in my mind when I go to bed at night and when I wake up first thing in the morning. In your head and in your heart, I haven’t a clue as to where I stand or if I ever even cross your mind. I’m always left wondering. Therefore I am lost, but you are where you are supposed to be, deep within my heart.

Taste of Edmonton 2016

Taste of Edmonton 2016

What a beautiful and sunny day for this event! (jk, in my opinion it was way too hot outside. ugh) It’s still a beautiful day though!

For people who don’t know, taste of edmonton is an annual event that takes place at Churchill Edmonton. It is an event where food places around edmonton are all in one place to showoff food they have in their stores. It is not “free taste”, there is a ticket centre where you have to buy tickets, and that’s what you use to buy the food. It’s typically 2-4 tickets per dish.

This years event happens from July 21-30.
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They hand out menus when you get into the event, it shows the names of the restaurants and what dish they can serve you with the amount of tickets you need to get them. It also has a map to show you where booths are located. (Thanks to my friend, Dianne for modelling haha!)_MG_2190

 

Since it’s super hot out we decided to get lemonade to start, I love love lemonades but holy, 4 tickets for a large one, that’s too expensive considering how much the tickets were. Oh well, we needed the beverage. haha._MG_2191

The place was pretty busy.

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Booths typically look like this. We didn’t get any from Mama Lee’s Kitchen tho.

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Khazana

Dish #1 Butter Chicken with Rice

Our first stop “real first stop” was butter chicken! it’s honestly the friend groups favourite! If you haven’t tried butter chicken with rice, you’re missing out!

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Moksha Indian Cuisine

Dish #1 Tandoori Chicken with Naan (right)

Dish #2 Chicken Kebab with Naan (left)

These dishes were pretty good too, #1 looks spicy because of the color but it’s just mild. It was kinda dry but I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. #2 in the other hand is not too bad, I liked it but my friend and I like #1 better. When I was eating #2 I didn’t realize it was made out of chicken until I looked at the menu again haha._MG_2200

The Melting Pot

Dish #1 Cheese Fondue in Bread Bowl

Dish #2 Chocolate Fondue Cup

I forgot to take a picture of these dishes seperately. But they are the ones on the far right, in my opinion #1 is a bit salty for my liking but I still liked it because “cheese is life”. #2 had a piece of marshmallow, half a strawberry and some kind of sweet bread, good dessert. 🙂

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This is just me taking pictures of Dianne…._MG_2213_MG_2215

Native Delights

Dish #2 Traditional Fried Bannock

We only chose to get the fried bannock. You get the choice of butter, jam or nutella.

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Italian Bakery Edmonton

Dish #1 Sicilian Canoli

Dish #2 Tiramisu in a Cup

Don’t they look good from the outside? So eye catching!!! For me they were okay though, no.. the tiramisu was real good actually. I bought my sister one and she loved it. I’m not much of a sweet tooth so I didn’t enjoy it as much, I couldn’t finish it because of the sweetness. The canoli on the other hand was okay, the filling was sweet but the outer shell was rather plain which thinking about it now is good because it balances the taste out. So yeah, if you are a sweet tooth definitely both a must try!

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Panda Hut Express

Dish # 1 Ginger Beef

I’m such a sucker for ginger beef, I had to get it. It’s honestly one of my favourite things to get on asian kitchens!

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The Cheesecake Cafe

Dish #1 Marvellous Stuffed Mushrooms

I don’t really know what’s stuffed in these mushrooms but they were good! It almost seemed like a calamaris but it’s mushrooms. The good thing about this one is you dip it on dill haha, one of my favourite dips ever!

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Churros King (Food Truck)

Yay churros right!? NOOO. These are the worst churros I have ever had they were seriously full of oil it’s gross. We got this from a truck but it’s not the only place to buy churros I believe theres another truck that sells them. But yes, a NO NO for this one._MG_2256_MG_2258

Dedo’s Food Truck

Dish #1 Chicken Shawarma with Rice

This one is the last food item we tried. We were so full from everything and hardly finished this but it was one of the good ones we tried. It was a bit sour but it was all good together with the mayo and a little bit of hot sauce.

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After being super full from all the food we ate we decided to walk. We went exploring some of Edmonton’s hidden gems. Edmonton have some nice awesome architectures!

 

Apparently this huge slogan has only been up there for a month? I did not know this and I heard that no one knew who did it. Isn’t it so cool though? _MG_2268_MG_2296_MG_2301_MG_2325_MG_2328_MG_2330_MG_2332_MG_2341_MG_2348_MG_2353_MG_2355

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I’m used to it.

  
photo creds: @iamsofiaandres
Do you ever sit or lie down and think life through? I have, and recently actually started picking up a few lessons from it:

• Friends come and go

• Past is past and you can never bring it back. 

• People make promises and most of them are just broken.

• You care less the more time you get hurt.

When hurtful things happen to you over and over again, you start to feel numb. You get used to the feeling. 

But the most important lesson I’ve learned is the only way to get better is to move on, move forward. Just forget.