Sunrise x Moonset

 

I think of you

when the moon sets

and the sun rises

 

Day by day, again and again

I wake up and it all resets

 

 

 

When the moon sets

and the sun rises

My love for you,

 

It stays the same.

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Fear

Fear

Isn’t it crazy what fear does to you,
mentally, physically and emotionally
Isn’t it crazy how it makes you feel,
like you’re trapped in this ball
that goes round and round
like it’s never going to end
No matter how much you want it to stop
it seems like every step you take
it just keeps moving, constantly
every hour, every minute of the day
taking you to places that never
ever feels like home.

Screaming in your head
so loud and clear
wailing for every fear to end
But the fear, it screams back at you
louder and louder and louder
chasing you until you fall over
and it feels like you’re stuck on the ground
too scared to even stand back up at all,
feeling completely helpless
when all you ever wanted was to be fearless.

We all wish it’ll just vanish
vanish into thin air, vanish in the darkness
and we wonder what that looks like
living a fearless life, of not having fear
constantly ruining our lives,
of not constantly running away from
all the good what could have beens.

a speck of dust

To you I was a speck of dust

            When I pass, I’m barely felt

            Barely seen, barely noticed

            Almost like I don’t exist

To you I was a speck of dust

            Like a dust, I cling to you but

            Like a dust, just swept through

            Almost like I didn’t matter

Too small to be seen, 

Too small to be felt, but

I am more than a speck of dust

I am to be seen, I am to be felt

I am to be loved.

Why I started blogging 

Why I started blogging 

I was a frustrated blogger, tbh. I used tumblr from grade6-2nd year highschool.  I found out about WordPress 5 years ago when I was a sophomore, I set up an account, well because of the mere fact that I wanted to blog! So yah, I did put up a few things, mostly petty and childish thoughts that I had in mind and well “jeje” photos. It makes me laugh to think about that awkward time in my life. Oh well, I grew up. I’m not “jeje” anymore.

(The word “jeje” came from the Philippines and it’s just a made up word by the youngin’s that kinda means  weird childish I DON’T even know, and you don’t have to know, it’s not worth it haha.)

Anyway, back to our topic. I found WordPress very confusing back then, I just posted random things and my page wasn’t very attractive. ( I can’t open it anymore) So now I made a new wordpress account and I am proud to say that I’m finally understanding the technical stuff of the website! I still find it confusing at times but I think now that I’m older I actually have the patience to learn the process of setting up a blog of my own.

I share my thoughts to my friends and family but tbh, I don’t think I’m ever completely honest with everything I say, or a better phrase for that is that I never say everything I need or want to say. I find myself sugar coating parts of it. I used to have a journal and I remember enjoying writing my thoughts in it, but I wanted to try out blogging. Here you are reading my thoughts. I think it’s easier to let out your feelings in writing, it doesn’t have to be creative, letting your feeling out through writing in general is very therapeutic. 

I never really liked poems before, I thought they were boring. Now I learned that it really depends on what poem you are reading. Poems are very interesting specially when you can relate to it, much just like songs. What made me started liking poems is first of all Lang Leav, she’s a great author! And another reason was Aldub’s poem for each other. It gave me the feels to be honest. It inspired me to write about what I have been feeling. I tried writing poems before but none of them really worked and I got tired and frustrated so I just gave up. This time around was different. 

I fell for a guy, and I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. It was very confusing. My mind knew that it will never work but my heart says differently. And I’m not even sure if he likes me or not. He’s hard to read, that’s for sure. And since I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions, I started writing poems. I don’t think I like him anymore, because I fell for another guy who didn’t really like me back at all either, so I wrote about him blah blah! Anyway poetry/song writing definitely became an outlet for me until present.

This blog consist of : poetry, my random thoughts about random things, “travel” photos and maybe some music stuff because I love music. 

So I guess to put it all together, blogging for me is a way to express myself and to know myself little by little. An outlet for my feelings I find hard to talk about(why I write poems haha), I am glad that I get to share this with people that may be able to relate to it.

Another reason why I started blogging is because I want to share my travel experiences! (I haven’t really been anywhere but I plan to travel a lot in the future. Haha!)

I think that’s all for now!

I sing and play the uke!

Hello readers, you probably didn’t know that I’m also a bit of a musician and a singer. So I’m just sharing one of my recent covers! Check it out!

I also name my instruments haha, I’ve had this ukulele for 5 years now and her name is Lilo. She’s my best friend! I love playing the ukulele, I feel like it’s such a huge part of my life now because it’s just something that makes me feel complete as a person.

If you don’t have a ukulele yet, you should get one! You won’t regret it haha!

Here it is, Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran (Cover)

Just a Friend

There’s pain when I hear your name

A sudden achy feeling

The same feeling when I see your face

in photographs, it kills me

 

There’s pain in every love song

Every single one reminds me of you

The lyrics they speak for me

Weeping in a perfect melody

 

There’s pain with every thought of you

although it’s pain with glee

The memories and smiles we’ve shared,

the only things I can hold close to me

 

There’s pain when I see you face to face

Pain I can’t show, pain I try to hide

If this is the closest thing to lovers we can be

I’ll bear the pain of being….

 

only just a friend.

Okay

Could it be that I was okay with playing around with maybe,

a possibility 
than
Facing a rejection from someone

whom I thought was the one

and only 
I know I said I’d be okay, but 

I don’t know how, I don’t know when
Though I’ve let go so openly,

I can’t fool what my heart is telling me

Do I just let it be?
Would it fade away with time?

Will time ever fix me?